“Abraxas accepts all your thoughts and dreams”
Variable dimensions
2023
plaster, paper, feather, iron wire
< L’errance de la chair. >
I hail from one of the most fiercely competitive provinces in China's Gaokao examination system. Amid the pressures of examination-oriented education, composition writing became my sole outlet for self-expression and a glimpse into my inner world. However, as the Gaokao drew near, even this solitary window was shut. We were expected to adhere to rigid templates, and our inner voices became silenced. What mattered most was technical perfection and adherence to prescribed norms. This suffocation stifled the talents of many who never had a chance to express themselves fully. Countless students, subjected to relentless drills, found their uniqueness eroded, compelled to succumb to the harsh realities of competition.
After reading Hermann Hesse's Demian, there's a sentence that has lingered in my mind: "Abraxas accepts all your thoughts and dreams."
I chose this sentence as the namesake for my work. Abraxas is a God who embodies both divinity and devilry, represents a complete entity. However, for those who grew up in the context of East Asian exam-oriented education, recognizing and embracing one's "completeness" can prove to be a formidable challenge. Education was supposed to encourages individuals to become whole, not to cower or feel shame regarding their dreams, but to embrace them, actualize them; Or, as Demian says, construct altars in their honor.
What I aspire to offer the audience is a sensorial, more immersive experience akin to theater, where people can linger within the narrative, closely scrutinize it, and in doing so, evoke certain memories within themselves.
I have crafted several sculptures from plaster; they appear as open books, also somehow seems like struggling, breathless birds on the ground, symbolizing dreams that are unacceptable. Yet above them descends the blessings of Abraxas, with black feathers coalescing into fluid energy, becoming their sanctuary.
I believe that once written, words encapsulate hidden emotions. I have gathered high-scoring composition examples from primary, middle, and high school levels. By reading these children's writings, I approach the concealed emotions and motivations lurking behind the words from a psychoanalytical perspective.
Subsequently, I transcribe them onto blank sheets of writing paper. Freed from the confines of books, the sentences appear like refined thoughts, leaping onto the paper, or mechanically repeating themselves. In this state, some sentences give birth to new meanings.
Afterward, I tear these words apart. Much like how time corrodes the walls of a classroom, I painstakingly piece together their remnants on the surface of plaster sculptures. These erosions, in turn, reveal genuine emotions, much like the stripped layers of paint unveiling the true emotions hidden beneath.
The entire installation resembles a ritual of transcendence. Through this piece, I aim to convey a profound sense of compassion from my perspective, criticizing the irrational shaping of the human spirit by education. Additionally, I hope that in the future, these birds can soar freely.
